OLIVER PIERCE

Remembering…

I don’t know why but I woke up today thinking about my pregnancy with Oliver. So much of my time these days is filled with the present moments, Oliver’s smiles and cooing. I put him on his play mat this morning, he was laying one direction.. and not 5 minutes later he had maneuvered himself in an entirely different direction. I remain amazed at his growth. Perhaps all new Moms are as captured by their babies every move or perhaps my amazement stems from the fact that he came two months early (a fact I’m still trying to wrap my head around) and he’s doing as well as he is. Regardless, I’m wrapped up in the now. Though there’s moments, like today, when my mind goes backward.. remembering. My pregnancy with Oliver was tough, it was just tough. I wish I had been like one of those women who say their bodies feel the best they’ve ever felt while pregnant. My body didn’t. Or the women who say they feel more beautiful, more maternal.. the perfect picture of a glowing goddess for 9 months. I most definitely did not feel more beautiful nor did I feel anything other than sheer terror at the thought that, in 9 months, I would be birthing a human, whom I would then be responsible for, for the next two decades. There’s nothing calming about that. I’m just being honest. I will spare you the details, though trust me when I say my pregnancy felt like a runaway train. I remember laying in the hospital.. I was there for the second time, 31 weeks pregnant. I looked at the doctor and asked him what was happening to me, why was this happening to me. He replied, “it’s called pregnancy.” He went on to tell me that if he were to show women his manual on all that could happen during pregnancy (keeping in mind he is a doctor who specializes in high risk pregnancies) no one would ever want to do it. Okay. Thanks Doc. A week later I would give birth to Oliver. In my now moments I see exactly why you want to do it. Oliver is a precious, beautiful baby who I wouldn’t want to trade for all the world. Looking back at photos of my pregnancy, remembering how it felt…feeling him kick for the first time, keeping me awake at night while he had a dance party inside my belly.. there are special memories. And perhaps my story isn’t so unusual. The ups and downs, the fears, sleepless nights and rapidly changing waist line. Pregnancy brings forth a raw kind of beauty.. a vulnerability we aren’t used to confronting. A life was created. And though it was a hard road to get him here, he is indeed here. His name is Oliver Pierce. I am his very proud Mom, who does, when he’s snuggled in my arms, feel more beautiful than I’ve ever felt before.